Hi Marc,
I just wanted to let you know that we got the Manuals that Friday afternoon as promised and they have been a tremendous help
already!! My boyfriend is totally committed to taking this course material seriously, which is a pleasant surprise since that was my main concern with him. I frequently thank him for his commitment and ability to use these skills during our arguments. We would be history by now if it weren’t for the communication skills we are learning in your manual!
I’ve told my girlfriend about the almost instant positive impact of this manual on my relationship, and now she has a friend who wants to know more about the manuals so I’m sending her the URL.
Allison
Yes we received it. Thank you for all your help! your book is amazing!!!!!
Chantal from Canada
Your workbook is excellent. Absolutely amazing. My husband ordered a pair of them when I told him that I wouldn’t stay with him any longer if he didn’t take some sort of action to learn to be accountable for his behavior. So he ordered the books (he’d already decided to quit seeing our therapist because she was on “my side.”
Anyway, the stuff in the book is great. Though he refused to look at it, but then yesterday when I told him that I really, truly wanted to leave, he started looking at it, and apparently doing the exercises.
Here’s my question… how can any of these techniques or exercises work in a relationship where there is verbal and/or emotional abuse? I’ve suggested to him that we go to your seminar, but he says, “I can’t sit in a room where someone pretends to know more than I do about something.”
Teri M.
Marc,
You may consider this an anonymous testimonial. We came to your seminar with many difficulties and near violent anger. Definitely emotionally violent.
After taking your course we learned and practice many of the techniques and principles you taught in the seminar we attended last year. It not only saved our relationship but has improved our individual lives.
For months and months we had all your rules taped to our walls (with 3M temporary double sided removable pad tabs) in the bathroom above the sinks, on the fridge and in my office and in the utility room. They kept reminding us of the proper ways to handle conflict and it has curtailed the damaging effects of emotional escalation that really ruined any chance to a loving peaceful life.
Although we both are far from where we’d like to be, we are thousands of miles ahead of the painful place we were before attending your course.
Spending the time with you and other couples helped us see that we were not alone and encouraged us to move through this awful phase of our relationship to a happier more satisfying relationship. We were both motivated to learn and sincere when we came.
We participated genuinely and we received great rewards then and now. I believe that we have integrated your techniques into our lives to our benefit.
Thank God for your life’s work and course that has helped us grow and create a relationship that is so much more satisfying and pleasant.
We appreciate your part in our lives.
We were married September 27th 2002!
Bill & Lori
Hi Marc,
I wonder if you realize what you have done by putting together your Workbook. You have totally changed my personality and life basically “overnight”. The personality that I have been hating and struggling with (and everybody around me) since I could remember. ….
To make the long story short, as my life went on I started noticing that I had very hard time gaining and maintaining relationships with other people. I was always Mrs Right. My parents criticized this aspect of my personality all the time but I refused to listen because that is all what they had been doing – just criticizing me and telling me how bad person I was. How could I have listen? They had never said sorry to me or had never had any respect for my feelings and decisions.
When I met my husband I realized he was the kind of person that was liked by everyone and getting along with everybody, which meant, he was the total opposite of me. Also, I could not believe how much respect his parents had for his feelings even though he complained about it once in a while. I was very excited to see how I would get along with him and, of course, I failed again. Last week he told me many things about my personality that were not very pleasant to hear but to be honest, I was basically aware of most of them just did not know how to change them. (And, of course, I would never admit it out loud. )
Your manual not only helped me to understand what I was doing wrong but also thought me how to fix it. I used to defend myself ALL THE TIME not ever being able to admit that I could ever be wrong or I could make a mistake. Actually, many times I new I was wrong but I just could not say it out loud.
Thank you!,
J.G.
Dear Mr. Sadoff,
I am writing to thank you for the help that your manual “Coming Together for Life” has been to me. Many of the techniques outlined in your manual can be put to immediate use and bring about immediate change. I thank you for this wonderful resource.
As I have read through the manual, I have a feeling that I have a controlling personality. I also suspect that I am somewhat codepedent. I am wondering if you could recommend some good resources that I could use to understand these topics better and how to overcome them. I am also interested in any resources you could direct me to in helping me to understand how my childood could effect my present personality and relationships.
Thank you so much.
Mark P.
… The relationship went critical mass over the summer again, and I made the decision to move out first of August. We are trying to salvage whatever remains of friendship so that we don’t completely lose each other, but it’s hard right now, because we’re both so raw, and there’s so much temptation to fall right back into the same old unresolved fights and behavior patterns. One way or another, it will seek its level and be fine. Did just want to say how useful I found the materials in your relationship program. Despite the way things have turned out, they did help us very much. I know that I will take the skills and techniques and resultant insights about myself into my next relationship, which I suppose ironically will be the beneficiary. Thanks again, and wish you all the best.
–E. J.
I’ve spent hours looking for and reading information on ANGER & ANGER MANAGEMENT . . . and have found many helpful resources, but your site is the first to make me laugh . . . “One reason you’re still arguing with someone is because you’re still in the room and available for arguing.” – Marc Sadoff, MSW, BCD. . . . . and after trying to ‘Manage’ for soooo long – a laugh felt wonderful! Thanks. I’m looking forward to learning more.
Glinda
Hi Marc,
We enjoyed your couples workshop this past weekend. We believe we learned quite a bit and have been implementing it into our daily routine. I find it so far to be very effective. We used to bicker about small things everyday before the class, and now since we’ve been following the steps and giving the other the “remote control”, we take care of the bicker in less than 5 minutes (as before it would be hours). We will continue to practice the skills we’ve learned because we truly believe it helps our relationship grow stronger. Please send us the DVD so we can practice more. Thank you for everthing!
Happy Holidays,
Linda H
Your workbook is excellent. Absolutely amazing. My husband ordered a pair of them when I told him that I wouldn’t stay with him any longer if he didn’t take some sort of action to learn to be accountable for his behavior. So he ordered the books (he’d already decided to quit seeing our therapist because she was on “my side.”
Anyway, the stuff in the book is great. Though he refused to look at it, but then yesterday when I told him that I really, truly wanted to leave, he started looking at it, and apparently doing the exercises.
Here’s my question… how can any of these techniques or exercises work in a relationship where there is verbal and/or emotional abuse? I’ve suggested to him that we go to your seminar, but he says, “I can’t sit in a room where someone pretends to know more than I do about something.”
Teri M.
After reading through the articles posted on the web, i must say that i can’t agree more with your analysis on why arguments occur between couples. I myself, have been squabbling/quarrelling with my spouse for the past 1 year and have felt helpless many times about the futility of our talks. I must say that your articles really contributed to some good insights.
I would really appreciate if you can email me the free sample worksheets. Thank and God bless!
Sincerely,
lynn
Dear Marc,
Thank you ever so much for responding to my letter…the problem i’m having is that the fighting and threats of taking my kids away from me is wearing me down terribly mentally..i can’t handle it nomore…I need out badly and he wont leave and i can’t afford to leave with the kids…
Thank you so much for your time you have taken out to help me…sincerely,
lori
Thanks i realy need them for the help i must have in order to remain sane.
RDMX
Mr. Sadoff, thanks so much for your communication tips. They are practical, entertaining and helpful.
Tshai B.
Thank you very much.
Wendy H.
PS: Thank you so very much for making this counseling workbook option averrable on the Internet it will save us tons of money on counseling through a counselor
My name is Kari H. and I was hoping to get a user account for your web site.
Yesterday I ordered the “Coming together” manuals, and I am really excited about reading them and working through them with my Husband (who is actually going to participate! He likes the fact that the manual was written by a man.)
Anyway, thanks so much for your time and also for the wonderful web site. I`m sure it has saved and will save quiet a few relationships.
Kari H.
After reading your manual all of a sudden it seems all so simple. And, it feels like a release from prison! It feels so GOOD! I was little bit disappointed by my husbands reaction which was ” Yeah right! ou are too selfish and ignorant to care and change next time!” I still feel good. That is all what I could do, right? Thank you thousand times for all you do and Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
BELOW ARE MORE EMAIL & LETTER TESTIMONIALS ABOUT THE BOOK OR SEMINAR
Marc,
Just have time for a quick note: I used one of your couples comm. techniques in attempting to have a therapeutic interaction with a difficult client; a drug addicted, schizotypal personality disorder with significant thought disorder/A.D.D.
Baby did it work! Yes the client was motivated, but without that simple technique and humurous, good natured way you had demonstrated in teaching the technique, which I included in my use of it in this case– nothing less or other would have worked.
Don’t know if you’re aware of the possible applications of your techniques for therapists and counselors working with difficult borderline, schizotypal, thought disorder, ADDHA, etc. clients. Or maybe the techniques derive from this arena of patient/client interaction interested in your thoughts.
And thanks.
P.S. the technique didn’t work with my ex-wife, but it was great with a client who it is almost impossible to have a conversation with.
David
Dear Marc, I just amicably ended or perhaps temporarily paused a very complicated and wonderful but abusive long term relationship, and found your website just after we decided to separate. I just wanted to say it was immensely comforting and also made me hopeful that one day we can work things out, which is what we both want. We’re not looking for counseling right now–I just wanted to thank you for making public the things that you’ve made public on the site. I copied some choice things down to look at some more, and when the time is right I will invite my beloved soulmate to look at it as well. We may pick up some of your materials. I especially loved the “Great Couples Exercise” and “Responding to anger without getting defensive”. Anyway, all of this is just to say that I really appreciate that you’ve put some of your work online for free; it is the best possible business move you could have made, but it also helped me tremendously and struck me as genuinely altruistic and helpful. Yours, A.
I just wanted to commend your company for an incredibly fast response to my order. It arrived today and in perfect condition. It was exactly as advertised. I only had a moment to skim the manual today but from my brief glimpse it looks as if it will be very helpful to me in my work with couples. Thanks so much and again…GREAT job. Gale A. Shay, MSW, LSW
Please send me any sample exercises on Expressing Anger Constructively. I truly am grateful for all the free material. It is helping ALOT. Joyce
I came to your class a year ago (Patty F.). With your seminar last year, it was so amazingly helpful and eye opening, that I highly recommend your workshop. We left your workshop and had the best marriage ever for about a month.
We fell a bit, headed into some major issues, and using the things we learned in your seminar, we popped out the end of a tunnel of turbulence – that we’d been in since before we got married (since late 2003) – by early this year. We are in a whole different relationship now. Thank you, thank you so much for that! Such a good place, I took his name (that’s why my e-mail now says J____.)
Anyways… not the point! I just signed up my brother and his wife for your July workshop. I’ve been working on them for awhile and finally got forceful – Good? Bad? I’m sure you know! 😉 His name is Rick and her name is C___.
Thanks again! Looking forward to more miracle working! 😉 She’s a good one and I’d like to keep her in the family! She’s also got a son (stepson to my bro) which makes splitting that much harder. They’re married about 3 years now. t,
Patty
Marc,
Thank you for a very enjoyable and productive weekend. We have already used some of the techniques, and are sure we will use them all, many times…
It felt strange the way we left… had a great connection with you over the weekend, and we both felt as if we had just left a friend.
We look forward to seeing the new site, and will recommend others to you and your materials.
Thanks again for all you did for us.
A & G
(This was an email forwarded to us that was a seminar attendee writing to her friend.)
Dear Jill,
Great to hear back from you. Here’s the website for the marriage enrichment workshop that Bob and I took. It’s www.RealHope.com . If J___ isn’t willing to give up one day of his life to enhance your marriage, I would have grave concern about whether this would help you…or even if it sounds like he wants your marriage to work.
As the old saying goes, “it takes 2 to tango.” I’m not even sure that the therapist would accept you into the workshop, without your husband…since there will be contracts you need to make with one another during the day. I highly recommend the workshop, however, and hope you will be able to benefit from it, as Bob and I are. Best of luck to you, J__ and the baby. Keep me posted on how things are going.
By the way, the therapist who runs the program, Marc Sadoff, would be happy to address your questions, I’m sure. You’ll find his phone and email address on the website. Take care!
Warmly,
Karen
I truly appreciate the good service.. Thank you..
Shelley G
Marc,
A friend of mine just went to your session last night and was totally blown away! He doesn’t believe in therapy AT ALL so to hear him speak about it and rave about the session and what he got out of it was inspirational.
Vladessa
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,THIS WEBSITE IS VERY INTERESTING AND IMPORTANT TO MARRIED COUPLES. PLEASE SEND ME THE FREE SAMPLES. MAY GOD ALWAYS BLESS YOU.
Lydia S.
Just like ,my parents never did. When I reached for help on the Internet last week I was desperate. I was hoping to find some sort of a manual that would help me step by step to understand what I was doing wrong and what “nice” and “liked” people would do in certain situations.
Your Workbook is exactly what I was looking for and I am so grateful to you for putting it together. While reading it I often felt like you must have been in our house when my husband and I were arguing. The statements like: You just won’t listen ! or Can you just stop interrupting me ! or Can you just listen for once without saying anything? I have heard so many times. But this is all OVER! Thanks to YOU!! You have opened my eyes and initiated a HUGE change in my life. Perhaps now I will show more respect to others by being a better listener and by being a better communicator.
THANK YOU AGAIN SOOO MUCH FOR TEACHING ME IN A FEW DAYS WHAT MY PARENTS HAVE NOT IN 37 YEARS! Getting my relationship with the “outside” world ( but mainly my marriage), on track is the GREATEST GIFT one could ever give me. Last week I read your manual and this morning I am for the first time in my life saying sorry to my husband for being late without trying to come up with thousands of stupid excuses why it had happened. I simply admitted that I should have done better job planning my other activities and promised to do a better job in the future.
Gabi