Ubiquity of Oppositional Defiant behaviors

I Do What I Want!

Defying rules and restrictions placed upon us by others is in our DNA.  One problem with having a reflex to avoid or defy rules is that we begin to have trouble following through with the rules that WE SET FOR OURSELVES!  

If I cannot surrender my will to others, especially my partner or family, then I cannot surrender my will and do difficult tasks that I tell myself that I want to do!

Common Ways We ‘Should’ On Ourselves

I should be more considerate

I need to lose weight

I need to stop arguing and defending

I just have to stop being so critical

I shouldn’t show my thoughts and feelings

None of these behaviors is likely to change when it feels like I am following orders, norms, or the rules of my partner or society.  Until there is a conversion of these ideals of behavior away from taking orders from others into a desire to do, or not do, disturbing behaviors; they are not likely to change.  How do you get